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Posted by Jeremy on November 17, 2019 at 05:31 PM CST
DK’s official and scripted blurb about How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks And Other Galactic Survival Skills tells us that the Star Wars galaxy is a dangerous place; so stocked is it with ruthless bounty hunters, ferocious beasts, hostile landscapes, social minefields, and backstabbing allies it’s a small wonder anyone survives - never mind flourishes - there. Perhaps they got a very, very advance copy?
With such a wordy title - twelve words to be exact - a head start is definitely needed, especially since it’s packed with content. Full of quippy banter and flavoured with more than a pinch of salt, How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks (etc) is surprisingly weighty for such a compact book.
In the irreverent literary stylings that we have come to expect from Christian Blauvelt, How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks (etc) covers such topics as dealing with Dangerous Environments, the risks and Dangers Of Travel, how to cope with Hazards of Technology, facing Social Minefields, breaking down the art of running away through Escape, Evasion And Infiltration before providing particularly colourful advice on Dangerous Creatures.
Our own planet has plenty of exotic locations and alien cultures worth discovering, and in my years of tracking down Star Wars locations I’ve had cars break down in the Tunisian desert, my camera stolen in Seville, been swooped by birds at Smith River, twisted my ankle walking through the sand dunes in Buttercup Valley, gotten sunburned on Lake Como, tripped on a root (and fallen flat on my face) at the Avenue of Giants, got a parking ticket in Hollywood, swarmed by flies in Artist’s Palette and had my credit card cloned in downtown San Francisco while on a visit to the Lucasfilm offices. That last one, though an inconvenience, was amusingly appropriate.
I can’t help but think that if I had this book ten years ago when I was travelling the globe in the name of Star Wars my stories would have been a bit more sugar-than-spice flavoured.
In attempting to do exactly what Han Solo doesn’t want to know - to tell you the odds - are the tips and tricks contained in How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks (etc) applicable to the real world?
Obviously, there are few instances where an Earther is going to be at risk of being fed to a Rancor but plenty of us have dealings with Hutts, and while it’s unlikely any one of us will get Force choked, the chances of choking on an apple seed is high. It’s also true that the risk of jumping to hyperspace inside the docking bay of a freighter is slim, the likelihood of forgetting to open the garage door during a rushed departure is steep.
And so, our own tip is if you dig deep enough into How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks (etc) and think laterally you will find tidbits of advice that you can apply to the everyday world. Just don’t try plugging your garbage can into your home computer if it crashes. It’s definitely not going to help.
